So this morning, my usually non-eventful payday was met with confusion and inquiry when I logged onto my online banking portal to find a deposit amount that was half of what I was expecting. We just switched over to this new time sheet system a month ago, so I was wondering if there had been some discussion about there being another one week pay period that I had forgotten about.
At any rate, I asked a coworker to check their deposit to be sure it was correct, just to be sure others were or were not in the same predicament. As she searched, I looked back through my time sheets and discovered this week and last week’s time sheets unapproved. I couldn’t make out what time period should have been paid today, so I inquired about the last time sheet was approved for a colleague and sure enough, there was one week not approved on my own.
While IM’ing her, I realized that for the next two weeks I would have a gap, a lull in my otherwise steady flow of cash. I immediately began to think about the bills that would be coming through today, being the 16th of the month, and the ones that would ensue during the next two weeks, some automatically deducted from my account to ensure they are not forgotten, and others that I would have been writing checks for. I thought about the possibility of my gas options, the necessity for me to carpool for the next two weeks to conserve as much as possible, and what I had at home to eat since I would be limited on grocery/eating out. I went into survivor mode.
I started to get angry, questioning whether I had entered a time sheet too late (I don’t think I had), what may have happened. But the spirit of God ended my silent tirade just as immediately as it had begun and shifted my focus to others whose predicament was similar: the thousands of Jefferson County employees who were placed on administrative leave for the last 2 months due to county budget problems. I thought about their mortgages that still have to be paid, families that still need to be fed, gas they still needed to have to get around, and just how much they depended on that pay check to be there every week to satisfy their needs.
“What if I didn’t get a paycheck?” I asked myself. It sat on my chest like a sumo wrestler, heavy and not budging. “What if I didn’t get a paycheck?” I asked again, my head trying to comprehend what that might mean for me, a family of one, with all the same bills of a family of 6, theirs, of course, trumping my own in monetary value. What if this were all gone, just like that?
My colleague, at this point concerned for me, offered her help for anything that I might need and I thanked her with this reply. “Thank you. God will provide.”
There are two reasons that come to mind for my response to this situation. The first is because I needed to type or speak out loud a promise I know to be true. It was a calming statement. Second, because this morning when I prayed, I asked God to show me how I could be a blessing to others, and in the midst of this situation, I needed her to know that I knew who my source was and hopefully, if she is ever in a similar predicament, that God will provide for her too. We also prayed “Lord we know you are our SOURCE,” and today he is testing how well I really know that. We are supposed to be LIGHT, show others that our God is our stablizer, not the circumstances. I pray that's what she saw today.
As I write this, I’m feeling the tears well up in my eyes and I want to cry. Perhaps I will before this morning is over, but I’m pretty good at having a set countenance even in the midst of irregularities.
God is so funny, because I had a situation happen last week that caught me off guard. But as a result of it, all my bills for the beginning of this month are already paid with the exception of 1 or 2. So although the next two weeks will be short, my expenses are taken care of. And although the situation may have LOOKED adverse last week, God knew today was coming. Perhaps it was a set up because He knew the RE-SOURCE would be short this week.
I will not pretend to have an understanding of the financial situation many families are facing now. But today I got an inkling of the concerned thought and prayer that is going on about their livelihood. So I offer this word to you, in hopes that it will bring some peace of mind to your troubled hearts.
Luke 12-22-34
22And [Jesus] said to His disciples, Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious and troubled [with cares] about your life, as to what you will [have to] eat; or about your body, as to what you will [have to] wear.23For life is more than food, and the body [more] than clothes.
24Observe and consider the ravens; for they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn; and [yet] God feeds them. Of how much more worth are you than the birds!
25And which of you by being overly anxious and troubled with cares can add a [e]cubit to his stature or a moment [unit] of time to his [f]age [the length of his life]?26If then you are not able to do such a little thing as that, why are you anxious and troubled with cares about the rest?
27Consider the lilies, how they grow. They neither [wearily] toil nor spin nor [g]weave; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory (his splendor and magnificence)
was not arrayed like one of these. [I Kings 10:4-7.]
28But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today, and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you, O you [people] of little faith?29And you, do not seek [by meditating and reasoning to inquire into] what you are to eat and what you are to drink; nor be of anxious (troubled) mind [[h]unsettled,
excited, worried, and [i]in suspense];30For all the pagan world is [greedily] seeking these things, and your Father knows that you need them.
31Only aim at and strive for and seek His kingdom, and all these things shall be supplied to you also.
32Do not be seized with alarm and struck with fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom!
33Sell what you possess and give donations to the poor; provide yourselves with purses and handbags that do not grow old, an unfailing and inexhaustible treasure in the heavens, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.
34For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Remember that God is your Source and just because your Re-Source dried up, God will provide another Re-source. Continue to trust Him, lean on Him for everything- your sanity, your peace, your joy, your strength, your comfort, your EVERYTHING. He will take care of you!
I pray my sharing has convinced someone to keep holding on to the Master’s hand. He will provide for you! Instead of crying, I am smiling, because I know who is taking care of me.
