Long Days Do End

Today, sometime between 12:41 and 12:53 pm, I hit a Lexus. When I saw the car, it was already too late and "crunch," I smacked right into the front of this right turning vehicle. I backed up slowly, hoping that the damage was so minimal that this would be a "it's ok, no damage" type thing, but to no avail. My front headlight was shattered and the drivers side slightly bent, and the Lexus' sported a scratches and my bumper's periwinkle blue paint.

Thankfully I was going less than 5 miles per hour, and I was in the parking lot at my company. Aside from the sheer embarrassment and frustration generally associated with accidents, the only harm done was to the vehicles. Neither one of us sustained any physical injury.

Ironically the person with whom this accident happened was the same person I walked into the building with this morning, had engaged in conversation with on the ride up the elevator, and had bid a "have a good day" as I exited on my floor.

What's even funnier in the context of today's story is the necessity that prompted my lunchtime excursion outside of my building in the first place: lunch. I had just spent my "lunch" hour in a safety training with the company's training director. Not having read over the entire announcement for the training, I didn't realize that lunch was not being served. So after hearing about how much safety costs companies who do not have great programs in place, I thought I would slip out to grab a bite before getting back to work. Too bad my 10 minute quick trip turned into an hour and a half lesson in ____________.

*(I still hadn't figured this out... maybe you could help me- I thought maybe it could be related to the can of soup i didn't want to eat at my desk, or perhaps my internal debate about going out in the rain, hadn't gotten an answer yet.)

At any rate, there we stood in the rain, waiting on the Jefferson County police to come file a report. Did I mention the Lexus was a loaner from the dealership as their care was in the shop for servicing... another unforeseen circumstance. We chopped it up with each other, with the security guard, until we fell into silence, waiting for the police officer to return with our licenses and insurance cards. (Yes, I took pictures with my phone... Gwen, that's for you... you knew it didn't you... hahahaha)

Being that I had already been a little weepy from the morning, I shed a tear or two in the car, mostly out of frustration, but remembered something Amy Grant said in her book Mosaic about her daily morning affirmation. Each morning she goes outside and says "this is the day that the Lord has made. This is the day, not tomorrow, not yesterday, this day, right now, that i'm standing in, is the day the Lord has made... and I will rejoice in it." And it came up in my spirit, so I repeated it to myself, over and over and over, emphasizing different parts of the scripture like she says she did, in an effort to reverse the negative feelings that were quickly creeping up.

And just to be transparent, I felt a hint of self pity, and probably wallowed in it for just a second, the whole "why me?" question we sometimes ask. But just as quickly as that thought came, my spirit told me to look for the lesson. What was too be gained from this? Now that I have not yet ascertained, but I know it will reveal itself in time.

As if that weren't enough, this evening when I got to class, I realized I did not have my book, and we were doing a major in class writing assignment that I needed to use my book as a reference. Talk about panic! As I scanned the room, I saw every person in there, book opened to the reference page, whispered to the girl next to me that I didn't have mine. Her face told her disbelief and sorrow for me. In the next second, I settled within myself that this may just have to be the writing assignment the instructor throws out, and prayed that I would have what I needed without the book to at least complete the assignment. Thankfully I did have enough information to write somewhat intelligently about the topic.

So in the ending of a LONG, rather eventful, somewhat disappointing day, I feel the need to redeem it through affirmations of gratefulness for good things that happened during the day.

Things that happened today that I'm thankful for:

• my coworker and the security guard gave me lunch money (free lunch! HA!)
• when I returned (after the accident) from getting lunch, there was a close parking space so i didn't have to walk far in the rain
• I had a chance to talk to my best friend before class
• I learned that any safety accident on a job is pure loss because estimators do not include it in their estimates for bids.
• that God's love is spread to kids in the Dominican Republic from sweet ladies who didn't necessarily want to go up and sponsor a child, but did anyway and is loving the fact that she did
• when we lose babies and feel great loss and sadness, we can find some comfort in knowing they are resting in the arms of God
• my life, it could have been worse.
• that when I see President Barack Obama on tv, like on David Letterman, I get excited again and relive the joy that came from him being elected Commander in Chief. He's just so "cool"
• that I am in love with a wonderful person (something I wasn't sure I would ever experience)
• that people still give hugs and still sympathize with one another
• In less than 5 days, i will be in the same room as Maya Angelou.

So at 12:07 AM, yesterday was over 7 minutes ago and when I wake up, it's already a new day.

Thank you Lord!

You've Got to Be Carefully Taught

Today, as I was listening to some of my favorite soundtracks, Roger & Hammerstein's South Pacific soundtrack began playing in the rotation. Being a fan of the big bang sound, this is one of the funniest soundtracks I have. As the song list progressed, one in particular caught my attention and I have it on repeat now to hear it again and again.

In the last two years, although full of historic memories, landmark activism and a general waking up of the American people surrounding the electing of President Barack Obama, our country has been thrown into a "washing machine" of sorts and the shaking and twisting has uncovered the hearts of many Americans.

In my own lifetime I have not been so amply and repeatedly exposed to the raw, uncut emotions of our population as I have been in the last two years. The most prevailing emotion I see in the eyes of people and hear in their speech is embedded hate. People aren't born hating, they are taught it. Growing up, we are all taught things; some good, some bad. It's how we grow, know what to do, how to act. So I look at the social climate of our nation and I know this behavior is a symptom of deeper heart problems, something that was sown and took root, in the hearts of these people. I am interested in seeing how the love in creation will address and cover these hearts. But in the meantime, I am not expecting it to get any better. On the contrary, I expect it to get worse.

To that point, the message of the attached song pierced my heart this afternoon with its truth and I am compelled to share with you it's beautifully bittersweet and sobering message. What's funny is that the song is so short, that you might miss it in the rotation. Kind of life the subtle way hate attaches itself to your heart... As you listen, may your own heart reflect on your "teaching" and cause you to revisit what may need to be un-learned from your life conditioning and psychic imprinting.

Lyrics:

You've got to be taught

To hate and fear,

You've got to be taught

From year to year,

It's got to be drummed

In your dear little ear

You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught to be afraid

Of people whose eyes are oddly made,

And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,

You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,

Before you are six or seven or eight,

To hate all the people your relatives hate,

You've got to be carefully taught