A Note About Friendship

Tonight I'm disturbed that hospitalization no longer alarms me. They are her "new norm." I've become accustomed to the long pauses between texts, several days before voicemails are returned, and the whispered, half-asleep voice that answers the times when she catches it ringing. Their are too many miles to travel for daily visits, and I can't send orchids each time. My peace is in the gift God blessed her with, her husband, a guy who I know God created to take care of her. I'm thankful to God for him. I thought back to a converstation had at a birthday brunch I attended last Saturday for a dear friend. One of the other ladies in attendance remarked that she was rich in friendship. I had to cosign on that profession, for I too am rich in friendship. My friends are the ones people dream of having, God-fearing, progressive, compassionate, intelligent, wise, fun, real, and growing. I will continue to pay whatever the premiums necessary to continue to have these quality friendships as a part of my life. My prayer is that I provide for them the same joy and enrichment they provide to my life each and every day. Finally, I thought of just how simple, yet profound, the impact of friendship plays on our lives. There are studies that support friendship is good for our well being. Khalil Gibran says, "Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving." I certainly attest to that. Tonight I thought about Nancy, how simple our friendship was, lunch, black films, author events, concerts, library meet ups, dollar movies, naps on the couch. She was one of the few friends who had time to "drop by", sit around the house and talk, a lost art I plan to pick back up. Tonight I'm missing her a lot, the simplicity and ease at which our friendship flowed. We would have texted all last night about the election, Called each other today and chatted about it and the crazy folks we may have encountered or saw. She was easy. Resonating in my spirit over and over again is that she always made time. I must learn to make more time like that for my friends, just one more lesson she leaves with us. Whatever the cost in life to have friends like her, and others which remain integral parts of my life, I will continue to pay for as long as I live, for the return on investment for me have been priceless: the gift of life. May each of you experience the LIFE and LOVE that comes from having and being a friend. My friends save my life, everyday. And I am thankful to God for being so merciful and graceful to have sent them my way.

Thank you for loving me first...

I learned early on about agape love, the kind of love that overlooks faults and covers your past as if it hasn't happened with a caveat not to repeat it. I've known this love for myself since I was 6 years old when I took that long walk down the aisle to the front of the church to give my heart to the Lord. My love walk is my daily struggle, especially with those I have identified as selfish. Today's course of events have challenged me in several ways. They have made me more conscious of others, yet to take better care of myself. It reminded me again that I do not live in a vacuum, that my life is to share with others, and that how I take care of myself determines what others are able to get from me. Most of all, today I was reminded of the type of love that compelled me to the altar at 6 years old. The type of love that sees the mess you are, the faults you possess, and the embarrassment and shame of sin on your countenance and says still "it's ok." If you're like me, you lack confidence in your walk when there are things that you know you should have/could have done better. There are times when my acceptance of guilt for things gone wrong has paralyzed me with the enemies' thoughts of unworthiness. Isn't it a blessing, however, that love even removes the sting of guilt and shame and restores your confidence and boldness, not in your own actions, but in the promises contained in the Word, like Jeremiah 29, that this is "a future and a hope" despite where you've been. I learned that type of love first exhibited through my parents, then when I accepted Christ as my own, and most recently from a friend I have come to love. To be loved right where you are is the best feeling, affirmation in the world. Not that you don't strive to be better, but that you are enough, just because. I wish this type of love to be experienced by all. So to Love I say thank you for loving me first...showing me how its done...

Kicking Against the Prick

If I follow my true nature, I am a free individual, spontaneous, open, trusting, and unencumbered. As I have grown and matured, my free will has been tempered, shaped and tamed by my desire to be an adult, adhere to Christian principles, become a law abiding good citizen, and an ideal employee and person. Discipline and consistency is something I struggle with daily. For example, I rarely wake up at the same time every day, my morning routine varies most days, and although I always shower and brush my teeth, the order in which they occur may change each day. Creating a routine, doing anything every week, let alone everyday, is something I struggle with. My good friend Dwight once remarked that routines help to alleviate stress and give us a smoother path to follow. I have habits, good and bad. When attempting to develop a new habit, I have very rarely made it through the 21 days the medical records say is necessary to create a new one. Which is why I rarely take vitamins (don't remember to take them each day) and almost never know what I'm going to wear before the day I need to wear it. I won't go as far as to say I don't have any routine in my life, but even my routine things happen unroutinely. This practice of "kicking against the prick" hasn't always served my best interest over the years. Lately, the Holy Spirit is challenging me on being, not appearing. Looking in the mirror I have some blemishes that I need to tend to so I can have a "clear" face when its time for me to shine. So I'm taking a challenge and I'm starting with discipline and consistency. Tonight, I commit to blogging every day for 30 days about something. I'm also committing to read one chapter a day for 30 days. I commit to taking my vitamins everyday. I'm committing to prayer and studying the Word. Finally, I'm committing to exercising everyday for 30 days. Talk about piling it on, I am skeptical even as I type of the results. I know I can, so I will. It is my prayer that perhaps by developing a routine and some discipline in these areas, it will transfer into other areas of my life. So here goes... Gosh! I'll need your prayers.

Diggin' in Dirt: Day 5

Each day this week I have faithfully gone out to "the square" and watered and looked after my garden. I'm proud of myself for the discipline to face the mosquitos and their quest to dominate my backyard and attack any half inch of uncovered skin they find on my person. Lessons learned over the last 3 days 1. I had to go back and poke a hole in the landscape fabric so the roots of the plants would have stretching room (per country co-worker Jill), but when I dug underneath, I ran into rocks! Ugh! I'm hoping that I can somehow build enough soil into the raised garden so the roots won't reach the rocks. 2. Sometimes you have to look really close for signs of growth, especially when you're looking every day (like me- I told you I was a "lets get there" person). The weather after work today was perfect. A nice breeze from the rain front that came through last night. I think I'm going to attempt to make the hike down the hill behind my house, and see what I will find in "the woods." I'll keep you posted on the expedition.

Someone or something has been digging in my garden.... I wonder who (or what)?

One more hole.

Zuchinni buds on my plant. Yay!!!

More Zucchini buds.

An extra stem has grown on the Watermelon plant. The new one is on the left.

Another look at my zucchini plant. That's all for today! I'm going to try not to look at them for the weekend, pending we have a dry spell and they need watering. More to come after week 1.

Diggin' In Dirt: Day 2

So, in an effort to fulfill some of my deepest desires and goals before the year is out, I decided to act out on the year's old desire to have a vegetable garden. I will attempt to track the growth of my red and green peppers, squash, zuchinni, sweet potatotes, cucumbers, and just for fun, watermelon now planted in an 8 by 8 square in my backyard. In order for this to be as fun as possible, I'll make this mostly pictoral with short captions and "lessons learned" only. I'm not interested in explaining step by step, only to share my own journey into providing my own food source and expand my domestic skills for "infinity and beyond" (in my best Buzz Lightyear voice) Lessons Learned: Day 2 1. No matter where you go outside, the whole world is inhabited by spiders, spiders, and more spiders- SHEESH. Take a look at this brown recluse (it may not be but it sure as heck looks like one) who thought is was clever to surprise me as I pulled my hose out to water today. Uh uh uhhhh! Sprayed him with fungicide, he closed up and stayed still. I realized he was still alive when I gently prodded him with a pen and he sprung back up and had to step on him.

2. Mosquitos will find your flesh!!! OMG. I was covered head to toe but a mosquito somehow found my wrist and a small uncovered part of my ankle. Pray for me saints!!! 3. Farming (its just fun to say) is a process! Definitely a great lesson for this "lead foot", let's get there person.

Buying plants and dirt

Waiting for the grass and weeds to die.

Putting down the landscape fabric (don't ask-I had no idea).

Dirt piles.

Mixing the dirt.

Planting the plants.

Space properly.

Water the plants.

Watering still.

All done... for today. 4. Being outside, even for the short 15 to 20 minutes I was outside watering this evening, did much to help me wind down and relax after work. The sounds of the water, cars passing by, voices in the wind, the breeze (or lack there of), and the solitude were an added value to my life experience today. And I thoroughly enjoyed it! Pray for a bumper crop!

Murder 1 or Not?

Good morning my people, Reading the information and hearing the new stories surrounding the Trayvon Martin case, I have heard the terms "murder 1" thrown about quite a bit. I'm also a big fan of the CSI's, Bones, and those type shows so I hear these all the time. Not being a legal expert, I decided to look up the degrees of murder to have a full understanding of the circumstances that mandate one over the other and found this useful guide on answers.com. I wanted to share it with you in hopes that perhaps it would give you a clear indication of what the terms mean as they are being thrown around in our everyday news intake. (If you already knew- consider it a quick reminder) Classical legal definition: Note that eash US state creates their own definitions for crimes. They can vary from place to place. The following is a good guide: First Degree Murder:, AKA Murder 1- Murder with malice aforethought. This classically requires Mens rea and Actus Reas -- evil intent and evil act. So 1st degree would include: Premeditated murder (Usually includes poisoning) Lying in wait (ambush) Murder for hire Murder to cover evidence Second Degree Murder, AKA Murder 2- Murder with intent but without planning. The murderer must intend to kill the victim, and succeed in the killing, but will not have planned ahead of time to do this. This would include a killing made spontaneously during a bar fight, for instance. So again, there is intent to kill and the act of killing -- hence murder. Manslaughter: Manslaughter requires a homocide without intent. Typical classes are Accidental, Negligent, Reckless (Endangerment leading to). Most often, manslaughter invovles a homocide during the commission of a (lesser) crime, without intent to kill. Special Circumstances. In departure from classical murder charges, Murder 1 or 2 may now be charged in: Cases of DUI, where there is a fatality (even though there is no determined intent). Special Circumstances: During the commission of a certain class of felony (varies between jurisdiction), someone is killed by the perpetrator of the felony, but without any intent to kill. Also referred to as Felony Murder Rule, if you commit murder while committing a felony, it is 1st Degree Murder. Special Circumstances -- Police Action. In some states, during the commission of a felony, if the police, acting to apprehend the perpetrator, accidentally commit a homocide, either of an innocent bystander, a fellow officer or another suspect, the perpetrator may be charged with murder (often in the 1st degree). If, when avoiding aprehension, a TVA* fatality occurs, the perpetrator may be charged with murder (1st usually) even in the absense of intent. Note that Special Circumstances are a deviation from the classical formula for murder, which required a homocide and specific intent. Happy Wednesday!

New Years Pursuit of Happyness

Thursday morning this week as I drove to work the sun shone brightly and its rays reached my face a little after 7 am as I crossed the intersection of I-459 and I-20. I vowed to write about that warmth sometime that day but with the push and pull of obligations, never got around to it. As a writer, I've been away from my craft too long. I've studied life without many words for quite some time and I am now ready to comment on the many beautiful and ugly things I've seen in the last year. While I wish I could pretend that I'm going to commit to writing everyday, this notion is foolhardy and asinine given we have 24 hours each day and my hours slip away so quickly as of late I'm astonished that my eyes are closing at 11 pm or after more often than I would like. I will take a pragmatic approach and vow to myself that one morning or evening a week, I'll indulge in the simple pleasure of posting something. As of late I have been listening to the audiobook "Start Where You Are" by Chris Gardner (everytime I think of Chris, I want to say Darden... why is that?). I have thoroughly enjoyed the his voice on his life walk and suggest the book to you. I have also committed to renewing myself. A lady at a friends church is taking them through a renewal spiritual exercise and I'm going to start for real today. Each day has a scripture focus and writing assignment. If you like doing these things, I can be sure you have the next days if you email me at crystalgood@hotmail.com. Day 1 (which I completed last week-don't judge me) is this:

Focus Scripture: Psalm 141:8 If you are going to allow God to totally heal you, first you’ve got to make a personal commitment to ALLOW Him to change your heart. Together, let's walk 21 days of healing. We will start by first, writing down ALL of the areas of our lives that are in need of healing. And as we allow God to heal us, we will be able to check off those things and move forward. It’s our goal to check off everything on our list as a sign of healing taking place. Assignment #1 Write your list of the areas in need of healing, be TOTALLY open and honest. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE!!!

I'm back to blogging. Happy New Year!