Delicate Dealings

Last night I learned a valuable lesson about sharing things about people. The lesson can be summed up in Kurt Kobain's quote, We have no right to express an opinion until we know all of the answers. My approach to expressing my opinion about something dealing with a family member ended up causing alarm and anger and led to a deep offense. My motive and intent were questioned and ultimately were dismissed to smeer tactics. If I had known then what I know now, I may have remained silent. In retrospect, however, it is probably a good thing that I now know that there was an unknown issue from before that had gone unspoken. It also opened up other conversation that led to a better understanding of a current situation. I am grateful for the lesson but deeply saddened by the outcome and the potential loss of a great relationship. Word to the wise: Always be aware of the risk involved with sharing your opinions with others about things that are dear to them. Assess that risk before opening your mouth.

Saving a Child or Ruining a Nation?

Today this is sitting on my chest so intensely that I had to share My coworker and his wife have been in the process of adopting two Ugandan children over the last year. Last month he went for a hearing in Uganda, the almost last step before the children came home with them only to be denied adoption of the two children after being there for less than 2 days. They were crestfallen and immediately filed an appeal for their case to be heard before a different judge. The judge ruled against the adoption and, per my coworker, has a reputation for blocking adoptions of any Ugandan children to foreigners, only granting the right of adoption to domestic parents. The shared rationale for his decision was that America had enough problems as it is for its citizens to venture across the ocean to adopt children. They also share that children being adopted by foreign parents was adding to the demise of Uganda as a nation. Coworkers reaction was one of disbelief, a huffing "How dare he deny these children the right to loving homes," and general distaste for his remarks about his feelings about foreign adoption. With the responses came a brief narrative of the story of one of the children indicating that the infant had been left on the jungle floor alone and had been found. Her reaction was "Why would a judge allow a child who had been abandoned to remain unadopted based on a nationality glitch?" As I sit here, I'm looking at this is two different lights. My first thought in response to my coworkers remarks is that there are millions of orphan children right here in the U.S. that are overlooked just as easily as they feel these Ugandan children have been. How much thought do we give to these children who's faces are not plastered on a commercial but equally as in need. My second thought is, if what they say is true about the rationale behind the judges decision, that in fact, the slow siphon of Ugandan children out of Uganda by foreigners is in fact adding to the demise of the nation, what indications in his society would lead him to that statement of opinion. I don't have any knowledge about the adoption process. I do, however, have a handful of childhood friends who I grew up with that were foster children, a few of them actually being adopted, but most not ever experiencing that. We had three foster homes on my street and my first best friend Tamekia and her brother Anthony were placed at my neighbor, Mrs. Howards house because their mother left for the store and never returned. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.