Three observations about last night’s Black in America 2: (Since I was in my car singing with my sister and niece at 8:15 pm on my way home, I only saw the last 5 minutes of the Journey for Change segment of last night’s show. I’ll comment more in depth on that when I see it. But from what I saw, exposure always creates hope and opens doors to places we would otherwise did not think existed. Where have you gone lately and where are you taking your kids?)
1 Steve Perry, a principal of a small magnet school he started, picks up kids to go to his school. Although a small beacon of light in a mostly dismal education dilemma, it is light nonetheless. I appreciate what he's done with what he has. The opportunities he's created for these children and the stern tough love he's shown them. The exposure to college classes by sharing a campus with a community college. The standard that each of them will go to college. It makes a difference.
I cried with the young lady as she awaited hearing if she was going to have a chance to go to college. Her story is a lot of our stories. Even though I did not struggle in my grades in high school, the emotional turmoil of home life made college the furthest thing from my mind my senior year. I was concerned about where I was going to be living for the next year, NOT what college I would attend in the coming fall. I had a senior counselor that all but dropped me off at the school herself in terms of re-focusing my mind on my educational future. Ms. Linda Griffin at E.B. Erwin High School in Center Point, AL was a vessel used to save my life. I tell her every time I see her. Who saved yours? Be sure you thank them.
I found it interesting that even with the success of Dr. Perry’s school and its students, the parental involvement was still SO LOW! What’s going on with some of our parents? How can we engage them in ways that work for them (knowing some are working tirelessly just to provide basic living needs)? Where can I fit in to fill the void of the absent-at-school parents (maybe I can go to the conference for them) for these kids so they have a adult presence who can help in that role? Is there a need for adopted community "people" to take one or two children under their wing to see them through their journey? Definitely something to think about, even for the professionals who do not have children and have the time, emotional and intellectual capital, to invest in these children.
What schools in our community could use some support so they can do what he is doing with these high school kids? Have you looked lately? What are the magnet schools in and around Birmingham? With all the displaced educators in the city, why not start another school with these teachers? The community has the money to fund it, we have just got to start looking under stones. I'm glad to be apart of one solution, the Birmingham Change Fund, because with our combined resources, we are addressing these issues in the Birmingham community. http://www.birminghamchangefund.org/
2 John Rice and his program Management Leadership for Tomorrow (MLT) remind me of INROADS in its execution. Those of you who are INROAD Alums remember the leadership training we went through, especially those intense business breakout sessions where all HADES breaks out (like dealing with a major oil spill in the gulf), much like what we saw on the show. INROADS is the reason I have my job. I’ve been with my company for 6 years (9 including the three summers I interned with them). Great program. I also found out something new about John Legend and it made me smile! How do you get in? Check it out! http://www.ml4t.org/
3 I believe it was my sophomore year in college when my suite mate brought home a book entitled Our Kind of People by Lawrence Otis, Graham to read about the black upper class. (Great read by the way. If you’re a history buff, I know you’ll enjoy it). Numerous conversations ensued behind reading that book about wealth in the black community and the society that existed just above our heads that we had only heard discussed in kitchen conversations between aunts and grandmothers about the “other blacks” who lived in places like Mountain Brook, AL or Hyde Park, IL or Prince George County, MD. I’ll have to add that book to my reading list for the next year.
How interesting to hear last night about the needs of this economic bracket of MY people. It further confirmed Maya Angelou’s saying that “as human beings we are more alike than we are unalike,” and it prompted me to think how too many times we perceive and categorize ourselves and others in ways that separate us instead of bring us together; that divides us rather than unify us.
The Tuxedo Ball they highlighted is the same as the mixers and meet and greets we go to meet people. The bottom line question is how do you create opportunities to build relationships for yourself and others to allow you to live your dream life? I believe we ask ourselves that question all through life. What's your answer?
Overall, I'm looking forward to the conclusion tonight of this much touted documentary. I'm also looking forward to Latino in America, set to air in October of this year. I hope she continues the series for many ethnic groups here in America. I'd want to hear and see, read and understand. I'm sure I'll be better for it.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Life tainted by tragic end: Steve McNair
I heard about Steve McNair from B on Saturday when he received a text message from his friend. I’m saddened and disgusted. This man was phenomenal. Awesome in his own right in his football career, his community service, and leadership, but I can’t even see all that anymore because his girlfriend killed him. So sad. How tragic and unfortunate for his family to have witnessed the end of his life for such a stupid reason.
It reminds me of Proverbs 5 that I just read on Sunday morning:
3-6 The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet, her soft words are oh so smooth.But it won't be long before she's gravel in your mouth, a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart.She's dancing down the primrose path to Death; she's headed straight for Hell and taking you with her.She hasn't a clue about Real Life, about who she is or where she's going. 7-14 So, my friend, listen closely; don't treat my words casually.Keep your distance from such a woman; absolutely stay out of her neighborhood.You don't want to squander your wonderful life, to waste your precious life among the hardhearted.Why should you allow strangers to take advantage of you? Why be exploited by those who care nothing for you?You don't want to end your life full of regrets, nothing but sin and bones,Saying, "Oh, why didn't I do what they told me? Why did I reject a disciplined life?Why didn't I listen to my mentors, or take my teachers seriously?My life is ruined! I haven't one blessed thing to show for my life!"
Steve had so many wonderful things to show for his life. His commitment to giving back to the community, his family, his career, all of it is a wonderful story of triumph and success. How many great mens' lives have been brought down by a relationship with an outside woman? It's been going on for ages. My prayers go out to his family and friends. Tell me your thoughts on McNair and his unnecessary death.
It reminds me of Proverbs 5 that I just read on Sunday morning:
3-6 The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet, her soft words are oh so smooth.But it won't be long before she's gravel in your mouth, a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart.She's dancing down the primrose path to Death; she's headed straight for Hell and taking you with her.She hasn't a clue about Real Life, about who she is or where she's going. 7-14 So, my friend, listen closely; don't treat my words casually.Keep your distance from such a woman; absolutely stay out of her neighborhood.You don't want to squander your wonderful life, to waste your precious life among the hardhearted.Why should you allow strangers to take advantage of you? Why be exploited by those who care nothing for you?You don't want to end your life full of regrets, nothing but sin and bones,Saying, "Oh, why didn't I do what they told me? Why did I reject a disciplined life?Why didn't I listen to my mentors, or take my teachers seriously?My life is ruined! I haven't one blessed thing to show for my life!"
Steve had so many wonderful things to show for his life. His commitment to giving back to the community, his family, his career, all of it is a wonderful story of triumph and success. How many great mens' lives have been brought down by a relationship with an outside woman? It's been going on for ages. My prayers go out to his family and friends. Tell me your thoughts on McNair and his unnecessary death.
29 and Counting: I'm Alive
Hello twenty-nine,
Even the hustle and bustle of morning traffic could not capture my attention as I drove this morning. My heart burst this morning like over filled wine skins, unable to hold more. A heart so full that my body had to adjust to provide a release, so my eyes volunteered and opened tear ducts to relieve the pressure of my heart by spilling its overflow down the profile of my face. Joy and pain find aqueduct paths downstream to the same place, forming a puddle under my chin until the weight of gravity causes individual droplets to splatter softly on my blouse. It’s unexpected, all this spillage, and therefore I have no set plan to make them stop. All morning, at some point or another, they continue to release heart pressure.
“Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. It’s had tacks in it, and splinters, and boards torn up, and places with no carpet on the floor—bare.” That Langston Hughes is something else. He wrote Mother to Son during a time when life was tougher, harder to manage. This morning is one of those “hard to manage” mornings emotionally. And yes, it’s only 10:25 a.m. But on my way to work, I was reminded that on this day twenty nine years and 9 months ago, my spirit said this to my Creator…
Very seldom have I been so overwhelmed that it renders me speechless, but last weekend’s birthday festivities were one for the record books. Friday B & I enjoyed dinner at Nikki’s West, a local soul food restaurant that’s been around since the 1930’s. Afterward, I laughed until I cried at the movie “Hangover.” Saturday was busy, errands and a baby shower, but by 7 pm, the mad dash had ended I prepared to meet B at a rendezvous spot for my “surprise”. To my delight and excitement, we ended up at the BJCC Concert Hall and enjoyed Chrissette Michelle, Musiq Soulchild, and Anthony Hamilton in concert. Talk about a good combination… Anthony took it to church with his rendition of “Praying forYou”, sent goose bumps up my arms with “The Point of it All”, took it back with “Charlene”, and generally put on a great show, all the while nursing a hurt leg first on a cane, then later in the show, with a full set of crutches. It was an awesome evening of great music with a great man.
Even Sunday I had plans to go to t-town to visit with B’s friends, but had to deviate from that plan due to Youth Day at my local assembly. The service was spirited and completely “youth” oriented. Our guest minister Dwayne Thompson was awesome! He was relevant and refreshing and real. After he began ministering I had to slip out, however, to go pick up the cake from Sam’s Club and punch for the refreshments after church. By the time I arrived back at the church, I walked in just in time to give remarks and rush to the fellowship hall to pour juice. It was hot, I was sweating, and after all had been served, I was looking forward to using the rest of my day to take a nap and relax.
Since B had gone on to t-town, I didn’t expect to hear back from him until late that evening. I accompanied my parents and sister to lunch at O’Charley’s. We ran into my aunt and uncle while there and also saw a few church members. We laughed and talked, ate and drank. To my surprise, I got a call from B saying he was on his way back into town and wanted to meet up with me. We made plans to meet at the shopping center not to far from his house. Meeting up at Lowe’s, we leisurely walked through the store. Our next stop was Best Buy, the next, TJ Maxx. When we walked into TJ Maxx, I went to the home section and found a 1000 thread count king size sheet set for $70.00, but didn’t want to get it then. We were there less than 10 minutes when B asked if I was ready to go. I said sure and we got back in the car. Then B turns to me and says “ok, I’m taking you somewhere but you can’t see how to get there. I need you to close your eyes and keep them closed. Do you trust me?” “Yes,” I reply. He thought better of it, said he needed to blindfold me, so he reaches into the back seat and rolls up this huge sweatshirt and covers my eyes. He then leans my seat all the way back so I really can’t see.
My first reaction is excitement. Where the heck is he taking me? Then the questions com
e: Are you afraid of heights? No. Ok good. Can you swim? Yes. Good, even if you couldn’t I can so you would be good. My second thought is concern. Same question, different sentiment: where the heck is he taking me? I’m thinking we’re going to end up in the woods somewhere near some water. I think that maybe he’s made a special dinner out in the woods. But after a minute I stop trying to guess and just enjoy the moment. I ask him if he’s a psycho and proceed to tell him that if he kills me, my ghost would haunt him the rest of his life and that people would think he was crazy. He laughed and soon the vehicle came to a stop. He came around to my side of the car to get me and he guided me up some steps and I realize we’re at a house when I cross the threshold of the door and feel carpet under my feet. An arm reaches around me from the left and I immediately ask “who is this?” The room erupted in laughter, the blindfold was taken off, and there stood a room full of my loved ones.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, was there. The first face I saw was my father (it was his arm that wrapped around me). Then my grandmother and aunt (the one i had seen earlier at O'Charleys), my mom, my brother and his wife, and all my close friends, all laughing and clapping and taking pictures. I can’t remember the last time I was completely surprised. I turned to B, hugged and kissed him, then turned around and tried to think of something to say but there was nothing. I was overwhelmed by the people there, my closest friends and family, the effort it took to put the party together, the thought that went into it. When my dad blessed the food, my gratitude poured down my face in tears and I was certain this was yet another way that the Creator was showing me just how much He loved me. I also felt how B loved me. I felt it deep inside, in my core, down in my soul. If I could, I would bottle up that knowing and sell it. Everyone needs to know they are loved like that. Lives would change with that knowing. People would live better with that knowing. Smile more, laugh out loud, dance, and cry, they would feel alive with that knowing. To think the Creator wanted me to experience this knowing in a tangible, pragmatic way is something I will forever remember. It is my prayer each of you experience this too.
Even the hustle and bustle of morning traffic could not capture my attention as I drove this morning. My heart burst this morning like over filled wine skins, unable to hold more. A heart so full that my body had to adjust to provide a release, so my eyes volunteered and opened tear ducts to relieve the pressure of my heart by spilling its overflow down the profile of my face. Joy and pain find aqueduct paths downstream to the same place, forming a puddle under my chin until the weight of gravity causes individual droplets to splatter softly on my blouse. It’s unexpected, all this spillage, and therefore I have no set plan to make them stop. All morning, at some point or another, they continue to release heart pressure.
“Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. It’s had tacks in it, and splinters, and boards torn up, and places with no carpet on the floor—bare.” That Langston Hughes is something else. He wrote Mother to Son during a time when life was tougher, harder to manage. This morning is one of those “hard to manage” mornings emotionally. And yes, it’s only 10:25 a.m. But on my way to work, I was reminded that on this day twenty nine years and 9 months ago, my spirit said this to my Creator…
“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother'sOver a lunch of Buffalo Wild Wings (Garlic Parmesan and Honey BBQ), laughter replaced tears and I was reminded of the proverb 15:13 “A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.” Coworkers and hot wings definitely lightened my spirits. Friends in other cities called and left messages of well wishes. Surprisingly when I returned home, I found a bath drawn, a queen chair, and loving family waiting to see what I wanted to eat for the evening. Care wrapped itself around me. I was enveloped with love. This celebration began 5 days ago, however, and I must share with you the story of what the days entailed.
womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am
marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside
and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made,
bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book,
you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were
spread out before you, Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never
comprehend them! I couldn't even begin to count them— any more than I could
count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with
you! The days of my life all
prepared before I'd even lived one day.”
Psalms 139:13-20
Very seldom have I been so overwhelmed that it renders me speechless, but last weekend’s birthday festivities were one for the record books. Friday B & I enjoyed dinner at Nikki’s West, a local soul food restaurant that’s been around since the 1930’s. Afterward, I laughed until I cried at the movie “Hangover.” Saturday was busy, errands and a baby shower, but by 7 pm, the mad dash had ended I prepared to meet B at a rendezvous spot for my “surprise”. To my delight and excitement, we ended up at the BJCC Concert Hall and enjoyed Chrissette Michelle, Musiq Soulchild, and Anthony Hamilton in concert. Talk about a good combination… Anthony took it to church with his rendition of “Praying forYou”, sent goose bumps up my arms with “The Point of it All”, took it back with “Charlene”, and generally put on a great show, all the while nursing a hurt leg first on a cane, then later in the show, with a full set of crutches. It was an awesome evening of great music with a great man.
Even Sunday I had plans to go to t-town to visit with B’s friends, but had to deviate from that plan due to Youth Day at my local assembly. The service was spirited and completely “youth” oriented. Our guest minister Dwayne Thompson was awesome! He was relevant and refreshing and real. After he began ministering I had to slip out, however, to go pick up the cake from Sam’s Club and punch for the refreshments after church. By the time I arrived back at the church, I walked in just in time to give remarks and rush to the fellowship hall to pour juice. It was hot, I was sweating, and after all had been served, I was looking forward to using the rest of my day to take a nap and relax.
Since B had gone on to t-town, I didn’t expect to hear back from him until late that evening. I accompanied my parents and sister to lunch at O’Charley’s. We ran into my aunt and uncle while there and also saw a few church members. We laughed and talked, ate and drank. To my surprise, I got a call from B saying he was on his way back into town and wanted to meet up with me. We made plans to meet at the shopping center not to far from his house. Meeting up at Lowe’s, we leisurely walked through the store. Our next stop was Best Buy, the next, TJ Maxx. When we walked into TJ Maxx, I went to the home section and found a 1000 thread count king size sheet set for $70.00, but didn’t want to get it then. We were there less than 10 minutes when B asked if I was ready to go. I said sure and we got back in the car. Then B turns to me and says “ok, I’m taking you somewhere but you can’t see how to get there. I need you to close your eyes and keep them closed. Do you trust me?” “Yes,” I reply. He thought better of it, said he needed to blindfold me, so he reaches into the back seat and rolls up this huge sweatshirt and covers my eyes. He then leans my seat all the way back so I really can’t see.
My first reaction is excitement. Where the heck is he taking me? Then the questions com
e: Are you afraid of heights? No. Ok good. Can you swim? Yes. Good, even if you couldn’t I can so you would be good. My second thought is concern. Same question, different sentiment: where the heck is he taking me? I’m thinking we’re going to end up in the woods somewhere near some water. I think that maybe he’s made a special dinner out in the woods. But after a minute I stop trying to guess and just enjoy the moment. I ask him if he’s a psycho and proceed to tell him that if he kills me, my ghost would haunt him the rest of his life and that people would think he was crazy. He laughed and soon the vehicle came to a stop. He came around to my side of the car to get me and he guided me up some steps and I realize we’re at a house when I cross the threshold of the door and feel carpet under my feet. An arm reaches around me from the left and I immediately ask “who is this?” The room erupted in laughter, the blindfold was taken off, and there stood a room full of my loved ones.Everyone, and I mean everyone, was there. The first face I saw was my father (it was his arm that wrapped around me). Then my grandmother and aunt (the one i had seen earlier at O'Charleys), my mom, my brother and his wife, and all my close friends, all laughing and clapping and taking pictures. I can’t remember the last time I was completely surprised. I turned to B, hugged and kissed him, then turned around and tried to think of something to say but there was nothing. I was overwhelmed by the people there, my closest friends and family, the effort it took to put the party together, the thought that went into it. When my dad blessed the food, my gratitude poured down my face in tears and I was certain this was yet another way that the Creator was showing me just how much He loved me. I also felt how B loved me. I felt it deep inside, in my core, down in my soul. If I could, I would bottle up that knowing and sell it. Everyone needs to know they are loved like that. Lives would change with that knowing. People would live better with that knowing. Smile more, laugh out loud, dance, and cry, they would feel alive with that knowing. To think the Creator wanted me to experience this knowing in a tangible, pragmatic way is something I will forever remember. It is my prayer each of you experience this too.
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