My willpower. Tested. Today.
I promised myself that for the next couple weeks the only food I would purchase would be from the grocery store. Last week I brought lunch from home everyday. This week I've brought lunch from home every day. I have avoided eating fast food or eating out at lunch in my normal fashion.
While sitting here during the lunch hour, I knew I needed to eat but I was not looking forward to the spaghetti lunch I’d brought today. I decided to get up, get out of the office, go purchase a small meal, and to get some fresh air. I considered the nearby fast food restaurants: McDonald’s, Mexican, Krystal, Arby’s… and decided to “follow my nose” to something uber-delicious (or at the very least salty and yummy).
Starting the car, my mind started wandering, grateful that it didn’t feel like Hades was breaking through the pavement, praying with thanksgiving for the cloudy beautiful weather, and welcoming the light breeze blowing in the parking lot.
My “I-don’t-carry-cash” behavior was going to force me to use my debit card to purchase 6 dollars worth of food. My financial goals came to mind followed by several thoughts about my behavior. How weak was I to just have to go get something? If I just decided to get a shake and a small fry (salty and deliciously sweet combination), how guilty would the $2.26 McDonalds charge make me when I saw it on the bank statement? How pathetic would it be to miss my goal by $2.26?
By the time I got to the first light at the entrance to my office park, my decision was this- consistency towards my goal or golden delicious fries. Like the forbidden fruit drawing Eve in with it's "good to eat appearance," temptation stared me in the face. Would I stick to my guns? I contemplated making a U-turn. Go out to grab lunch OR go back to the office, heat up the spaghetti, feast on my free lunch (relatively speaking), and be content with the satisfaction that my restraint was going to speak to my strong will power and ultimately accomplish my goal? Would golden delicious fries make me reneg on my promise to myself?
Well…..
…Since I used my favorite spaghetti sauce, Prego’s Roasted Garlic and Red Pepper spaghetti sauce, that spaghetti sure was delicious. I’m full and have no worries that sometime within the next 24 hours I may have to pay the special room a visit for some unwelcome lunch that I should not have purchased anyway. And guess what? I’m smiling.
This may seem like a small decision but I believe millions of people come to the crossroads of this decision EVERYDAY. So often the instant gratification of our current desire wins out over our long term goals and plans. Sadly we realize the accumulated opportunity cost of all those small decisions too late and find ourselves overspent, overweight, unfulfilled, unhappy, and wondering where the time went and how we got here. We must make wiser decisions.
How do we do that?
In Proverbs 1: 20-21, the writer says "Wisdom cries aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the markets; she cries at the head of the noisy intersections [in the chief gathering places]; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks"
My revelation of this scripture is this: the Creator knows our lives are busy but every time we have to make a decision, wisdom is always there, crying out what to do. At every crossroad (place of decision) she is available. If that's the case, then guess what? All our decisions have the potential to be wise. Whether they are or not depends on you. Look, listen, understand, act.
I haven't always made wise decisions. But today I made a wise decision. And tomorrow I plan to do the same. And hopefully each day for the rest of my life I will choose the BEST as opposed to good for now.
Financial discipline: Check (today anyway... one day at a time)
I challenge you to test your discipline by aligning your behavior with your goals whether it's taking care of your body, finances, education, etc. Test your will in the heat of decision making. If you can develop discipline in one area, it is transferable. I’m going to be a Green Beret in discipline soon. Watch out world… I’m repositioning myself!
"There is a way, no matter what they say..."
Mos Def
Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
28 days til 29: Just Passing Through: So Much to Learn, So Little I Know
I have a leadership challenge with my youth at my church and it’s bugging me. I’m putting together a plan to communicate more frequently with the parents and youth who do not come to Wednesday night bible study (where most of my communication takes place) and are not on the email list. I’m not much of a phone person (calling people at the house and such), so outside of church announcements, they don’t have a way of knowing what is going on with the youth department (and they won’t call me- won’t even ask me when they see me at church) so they feel disengaged and not included. I have my feelings about this, but I’m looking for a way to reach them too, because they’re important and need their needs met as well. I need more face time with them, at their convenience and am trying to figure out how to do that. I see a couple of them during rehearsals on Thursdays. The others I only see on Sunday morning.
On the flip side, maybe I can’t reach them. Maybe they’re just complaining and the problem is that they don’t want to be engaged. And maybe they should reach towards us more. My personality, however, makes me exhaust all my personal capabilities of reaching them.
Just something on my mind this morning.
On the flip side, maybe I can’t reach them. Maybe they’re just complaining and the problem is that they don’t want to be engaged. And maybe they should reach towards us more. My personality, however, makes me exhaust all my personal capabilities of reaching them.
Just something on my mind this morning.
I need some special prayer for this. So if you're the praying type, remember us as you go before the Father.
A friend and I discussed ways to reach youth, so by week’s end I’m going to do these three things:
1. Bebo group page-
2. Facebook group page
3. Call every household on my list just to check in.
A friend and I discussed ways to reach youth, so by week’s end I’m going to do these three things:
1. Bebo group page-
2. Facebook group page
3. Call every household on my list just to check in.
It’s a start…how does the song go? "Reach out and touch somebody's hand, make this world a better place if you can."
I’m feeling like a community organizer… does that mean I’ll be president one day?
Like Mos Def Says… there is a way… no matter what they say…
I’m feeling like a community organizer… does that mean I’ll be president one day?
Like Mos Def Says… there is a way… no matter what they say…
Monday, March 2, 2009
One Phone Call to Freedom
This morning, as I type this message, tears continually well in my eyes and cascade down the profile of my face. My emotions are raging for a number of reasons today, but tears didn’t fall until I received a call from a relative. She was calling just to say that she loved me and missed me, totally opposite the message I anticipated receiving once I spoke to her today. Several years back, there were two incidences that drove a wedge between us. There were two incidents, one incident in 2000 and another in 2005, both of which left a bad taste in our mouths concerning one another. Since that time, we had seldom had any conversation between the two of us and even at family events, have steered clear of one another as much as we could. The break in our relationship has caused me quite a bit of anguish over the years considering how close we were before these things took place. I apologized, she apologized, but there was never really a mending of the hearts to reconcile us. We were both content to just go along with our lives and leave the past behind.
I have prayed about this before, but had stopped praying about 3 years ago. I figured it was best to leave well enough alone (as the old folks say) and let it be. She often comes to mind, however, in the caverns of my own mind and heart when songs that she liked are heard. What she might say or how she might react come to mind as I’m going through my days. And just last week, I laughed to myself thinking about this dance she used to do. I miss her tremendously in my life. She notices bull from 1500 miles away and she’s always been so pleasant to be around, funny, insightful, opinionated, and intelligent. She’s a ride or die woman, and her absence in my life a hard pill to swallow but I had resolved to live without her presence. From time to time however, I was saddened that she would never be apart of my “future” and I wished it didn’t have to be that way.
Saturday we had a huge family event and she was there. We were cordial and busy, no real time to talk (or more accurately, no reason to talk even if we had time). Sunday evening, I missed her calling twice and received a text from her stating she wanted to talk with me about something. I saw the missed calls and text this morning when I woke up and immediately my stomach was in knots anticipating what she might say. I anticipated that I had done something, said something to upset her at the family gathering and was bracing myself for a harsh, critical conversation when she called this morning. She called at 10:37 am, and I answered the phone with an upbeat voice, hoping to at least start in with happy thoughts and intentions.
Thank God that sometimes things don’t go the way we expect them too. She was calling to say she loved me and missed me and was sorry we didn’t have a chance to talk this weekend. She asked how I was and what I was up to and wanted to catch up on what’s been going on. And that when my tears started. And that’s when my gratitude filled me to the brim, so much so it had to flood my eye lids and spill over onto my cheeks and down to puddle on my chin like rain gathering at the tip of a leaf. A huge wave of relief engulfed my body as I begin to pour about what had been going on with me and how much I missed her and what I had been thinking. She said she just wanted us to be good to one another and I didn’t have to be afraid to call her and she wouldn’t be afraid to call me. I agreed and promised not to be a stranger. After flipping my phone shut, I began my internal thank you’s to the Creator. He had worked on our hearts all those years while we were apart. He had matured us and caused us to go through some things and live through circumstances that prepared our hearts to receive one another again. WOW! I never imagined this would happen.
If you have loved ones that you have estranged relationships with, I encourage you to do two things: pray and pick up the phone. You see, I had abandoned that prayer years ago, thinking the answer to our reconciliation was no. I had moved on. Don’t abandon your prayer. Secondly, as much as it may grate against your pride and faith, pick up the phone and call that loved one. No matter who is at fault, pray that your vision is focused on resolution as opposed to winning. Truths may be revealed, responsibility accepted, hurts confessed, hate uncovered. It all needs to come to the surface so a sure foundation can be laid to rebuild again. It is possible. Today I stand a living witness.
The Creator is always working on the hearts of man and one phone call could be the swinging demolition ball to break down the barriers between you and a loved one. Do it afraid.
Freedom can come in phones calls. Answer the phone.
Reconciliation
Sometimes
When your not looking
Things fall into place
From work you didn’t do
And effort you didn’t exert
After you’ve long released it to the hands of the creator
After no more thought given to resolution
After walking out of the valley
Leaving those dry bones behind
Moving on narrow paths toward the mountain top
Without them near
But somewhere
Along the journey
You remember them
And mourn for brief moments
Their absence along the way
But continue on
Towards your destination
But heaven
With its eyes seeing all
See’s hearts longings
And sometimes
When your not looking
Restores that which was taken
In the rigors of life’s mistakes
And brings it around
Sweet as honeydew melon
On hot summer days
How wonderful to experience
The restoration of peace and love
of fellowship and communion
between two who’s love
had waxed cold
introducing you again
to the future
and to tears
that fall on new seeds
planted in the soil of forgiveness
rooted in love
ready to grow again
11:02 AM 3/2/09
I have prayed about this before, but had stopped praying about 3 years ago. I figured it was best to leave well enough alone (as the old folks say) and let it be. She often comes to mind, however, in the caverns of my own mind and heart when songs that she liked are heard. What she might say or how she might react come to mind as I’m going through my days. And just last week, I laughed to myself thinking about this dance she used to do. I miss her tremendously in my life. She notices bull from 1500 miles away and she’s always been so pleasant to be around, funny, insightful, opinionated, and intelligent. She’s a ride or die woman, and her absence in my life a hard pill to swallow but I had resolved to live without her presence. From time to time however, I was saddened that she would never be apart of my “future” and I wished it didn’t have to be that way.
Saturday we had a huge family event and she was there. We were cordial and busy, no real time to talk (or more accurately, no reason to talk even if we had time). Sunday evening, I missed her calling twice and received a text from her stating she wanted to talk with me about something. I saw the missed calls and text this morning when I woke up and immediately my stomach was in knots anticipating what she might say. I anticipated that I had done something, said something to upset her at the family gathering and was bracing myself for a harsh, critical conversation when she called this morning. She called at 10:37 am, and I answered the phone with an upbeat voice, hoping to at least start in with happy thoughts and intentions.
Thank God that sometimes things don’t go the way we expect them too. She was calling to say she loved me and missed me and was sorry we didn’t have a chance to talk this weekend. She asked how I was and what I was up to and wanted to catch up on what’s been going on. And that when my tears started. And that’s when my gratitude filled me to the brim, so much so it had to flood my eye lids and spill over onto my cheeks and down to puddle on my chin like rain gathering at the tip of a leaf. A huge wave of relief engulfed my body as I begin to pour about what had been going on with me and how much I missed her and what I had been thinking. She said she just wanted us to be good to one another and I didn’t have to be afraid to call her and she wouldn’t be afraid to call me. I agreed and promised not to be a stranger. After flipping my phone shut, I began my internal thank you’s to the Creator. He had worked on our hearts all those years while we were apart. He had matured us and caused us to go through some things and live through circumstances that prepared our hearts to receive one another again. WOW! I never imagined this would happen.
If you have loved ones that you have estranged relationships with, I encourage you to do two things: pray and pick up the phone. You see, I had abandoned that prayer years ago, thinking the answer to our reconciliation was no. I had moved on. Don’t abandon your prayer. Secondly, as much as it may grate against your pride and faith, pick up the phone and call that loved one. No matter who is at fault, pray that your vision is focused on resolution as opposed to winning. Truths may be revealed, responsibility accepted, hurts confessed, hate uncovered. It all needs to come to the surface so a sure foundation can be laid to rebuild again. It is possible. Today I stand a living witness.
The Creator is always working on the hearts of man and one phone call could be the swinging demolition ball to break down the barriers between you and a loved one. Do it afraid.
Freedom can come in phones calls. Answer the phone.
Reconciliation
Sometimes
When your not looking
Things fall into place
From work you didn’t do
And effort you didn’t exert
After you’ve long released it to the hands of the creator
After no more thought given to resolution
After walking out of the valley
Leaving those dry bones behind
Moving on narrow paths toward the mountain top
Without them near
But somewhere
Along the journey
You remember them
And mourn for brief moments
Their absence along the way
But continue on
Towards your destination
But heaven
With its eyes seeing all
See’s hearts longings
And sometimes
When your not looking
Restores that which was taken
In the rigors of life’s mistakes
And brings it around
Sweet as honeydew melon
On hot summer days
How wonderful to experience
The restoration of peace and love
of fellowship and communion
between two who’s love
had waxed cold
introducing you again
to the future
and to tears
that fall on new seeds
planted in the soil of forgiveness
rooted in love
ready to grow again
11:02 AM 3/2/09
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)