Even the hustle and bustle of morning traffic could not capture my attention as I drove this morning. My heart burst this morning like over filled wine skins, unable to hold more. A heart so full that my body had to adjust to provide a release, so my eyes volunteered and opened tear ducts to relieve the pressure of my heart by spilling its overflow down the profile of my face. Joy and pain find aqueduct paths downstream to the same place, forming a puddle under my chin until the weight of gravity causes individual droplets to splatter softly on my blouse. It’s unexpected, all this spillage, and therefore I have no set plan to make them stop. All morning, at some point or another, they continue to release heart pressure.
“Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. It’s had tacks in it, and splinters, and boards torn up, and places with no carpet on the floor—bare.” That Langston Hughes is something else. He wrote Mother to Son during a time when life was tougher, harder to manage. This morning is one of those “hard to manage” mornings emotionally. And yes, it’s only 10:25 a.m. But on my way to work, I was reminded that on this day twenty nine years and 9 months ago, my spirit said this to my Creator…
“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother'sOver a lunch of Buffalo Wild Wings (Garlic Parmesan and Honey BBQ), laughter replaced tears and I was reminded of the proverb 15:13 “A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.” Coworkers and hot wings definitely lightened my spirits. Friends in other cities called and left messages of well wishes. Surprisingly when I returned home, I found a bath drawn, a queen chair, and loving family waiting to see what I wanted to eat for the evening. Care wrapped itself around me. I was enveloped with love. This celebration began 5 days ago, however, and I must share with you the story of what the days entailed.
womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am
marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside
and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made,
bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book,
you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were
spread out before you, Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never
comprehend them! I couldn't even begin to count them— any more than I could
count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with
you! The days of my life all
prepared before I'd even lived one day.”
Psalms 139:13-20
Very seldom have I been so overwhelmed that it renders me speechless, but last weekend’s birthday festivities were one for the record books. Friday B & I enjoyed dinner at Nikki’s West, a local soul food restaurant that’s been around since the 1930’s. Afterward, I laughed until I cried at the movie “Hangover.” Saturday was busy, errands and a baby shower, but by 7 pm, the mad dash had ended I prepared to meet B at a rendezvous spot for my “surprise”. To my delight and excitement, we ended up at the BJCC Concert Hall and enjoyed Chrissette Michelle, Musiq Soulchild, and Anthony Hamilton in concert. Talk about a good combination… Anthony took it to church with his rendition of “Praying forYou”, sent goose bumps up my arms with “The Point of it All”, took it back with “Charlene”, and generally put on a great show, all the while nursing a hurt leg first on a cane, then later in the show, with a full set of crutches. It was an awesome evening of great music with a great man.
Even Sunday I had plans to go to t-town to visit with B’s friends, but had to deviate from that plan due to Youth Day at my local assembly. The service was spirited and completely “youth” oriented. Our guest minister Dwayne Thompson was awesome! He was relevant and refreshing and real. After he began ministering I had to slip out, however, to go pick up the cake from Sam’s Club and punch for the refreshments after church. By the time I arrived back at the church, I walked in just in time to give remarks and rush to the fellowship hall to pour juice. It was hot, I was sweating, and after all had been served, I was looking forward to using the rest of my day to take a nap and relax.
Since B had gone on to t-town, I didn’t expect to hear back from him until late that evening. I accompanied my parents and sister to lunch at O’Charley’s. We ran into my aunt and uncle while there and also saw a few church members. We laughed and talked, ate and drank. To my surprise, I got a call from B saying he was on his way back into town and wanted to meet up with me. We made plans to meet at the shopping center not to far from his house. Meeting up at Lowe’s, we leisurely walked through the store. Our next stop was Best Buy, the next, TJ Maxx. When we walked into TJ Maxx, I went to the home section and found a 1000 thread count king size sheet set for $70.00, but didn’t want to get it then. We were there less than 10 minutes when B asked if I was ready to go. I said sure and we got back in the car. Then B turns to me and says “ok, I’m taking you somewhere but you can’t see how to get there. I need you to close your eyes and keep them closed. Do you trust me?” “Yes,” I reply. He thought better of it, said he needed to blindfold me, so he reaches into the back seat and rolls up this huge sweatshirt and covers my eyes. He then leans my seat all the way back so I really can’t see.
My first reaction is excitement. Where the heck is he taking me? Then the questions com
e: Are you afraid of heights? No. Ok good. Can you swim? Yes. Good, even if you couldn’t I can so you would be good. My second thought is concern. Same question, different sentiment: where the heck is he taking me? I’m thinking we’re going to end up in the woods somewhere near some water. I think that maybe he’s made a special dinner out in the woods. But after a minute I stop trying to guess and just enjoy the moment. I ask him if he’s a psycho and proceed to tell him that if he kills me, my ghost would haunt him the rest of his life and that people would think he was crazy. He laughed and soon the vehicle came to a stop. He came around to my side of the car to get me and he guided me up some steps and I realize we’re at a house when I cross the threshold of the door and feel carpet under my feet. An arm reaches around me from the left and I immediately ask “who is this?” The room erupted in laughter, the blindfold was taken off, and there stood a room full of my loved ones.Everyone, and I mean everyone, was there. The first face I saw was my father (it was his arm that wrapped around me). Then my grandmother and aunt (the one i had seen earlier at O'Charleys), my mom, my brother and his wife, and all my close friends, all laughing and clapping and taking pictures. I can’t remember the last time I was completely surprised. I turned to B, hugged and kissed him, then turned around and tried to think of something to say but there was nothing. I was overwhelmed by the people there, my closest friends and family, the effort it took to put the party together, the thought that went into it. When my dad blessed the food, my gratitude poured down my face in tears and I was certain this was yet another way that the Creator was showing me just how much He loved me. I also felt how B loved me. I felt it deep inside, in my core, down in my soul. If I could, I would bottle up that knowing and sell it. Everyone needs to know they are loved like that. Lives would change with that knowing. People would live better with that knowing. Smile more, laugh out loud, dance, and cry, they would feel alive with that knowing. To think the Creator wanted me to experience this knowing in a tangible, pragmatic way is something I will forever remember. It is my prayer each of you experience this too.
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