How Do You Like Your Eggs?

...Scrambled soft with a little milk and cheese never hurt nobody.

Funny how, no matter how you like your eggs, sunny side up, fried, scrambled, boiled, when it come down to it, we all had the same thing for breakfast. Just different expressions of culinary talents and consumer preference when it comes to preparing them.

Substitute eggs with love. Lets look at how we like our love? When it boils down to it, its all God (God is love, remember?). So what's your preference for how your receive it? What's acceptable? How do you perceive when someone is showing you "some love"?
In my life, I've come to prefer several forms of love.

Growing up, love was shown to me through affection, discipline, boundaries, and sharing. My mother and father created a "Swiss Family Robinson" lifestyle of sorts. We had family night. We had dates with our parents. We had a daily routine, complete with chores, devotion, play time, and homework time. My parents were consistent with discipline, always explaining why we were getting spanked, punished, having something taken away. One parent was very honest, yet gracious and kind. The other parent was very honest, nurturing, and loving, yet blunt. They always hugged us once discipline time was over, reassuring us we were disciplined because we were loved. And though it never helped my sore behind, or my hurt feelings, when it was all said and done, I knew that I was loved. So my preference for love, based on my upbringing, is an outlined, clear and verbally communicated, actions reinforced words, taken a face value, consistent expression. Life and the expression of love outside my home was viewed through glasses that all "outside" should emulate the love I saw in my home. Love looked like my parents. Love for me was scrambled eggs.

During the course of time, love changed in its form in my home. It went from outlined to kind of a loose parameter. Though it still entailed the verbal communication, reinforced actions, life at face value, it no longer SEEMED consistent. Circumstances deemed changes to the foundation that had come to be love for me. That foundation, for me, became shaky. My parents' love was no longer scrambled eggs. Now their love was sometimes sunny side up, sometimes boiled, sometimes poached. Being used to scrambled, I choose not to "buy it" and started looking for scrambled. I didn't receive the other forms, making me feel somewhat love deprived. (and yes, I wrote a poem about it! LOL) But it was still love.

Fast forward through 14 years of encounters with many people, many experiences, many places and many forms of love. I love scrambled eggs, and though I might have ventured out and tried a teeny tiny bit of the other types, I didn't risk enough to eat an entire helping of them to fully appreciate the quality of each expression.

Until recently. With each revelation I'm learning that its alright to let go of what I know, have experience with, am comfortable with, in order to grab onto something different. The revelations expose how I recognize love, receive love, and even how I show love.
It reminds me of a poem I wrote about a musician who had a lover and his expression of love to her was writing and singer love ballads to her at concerts. But she, being accustomed to and preferring to receive gifts and flowers, never broadened her range of receiving so she could catch all the love he was sending her way in the songs. He, on the other hand, never broadened his range of giving so he could send a message of love in a medium she could accept. On the flip side, she loved music so she would show up for all the concerts and enjoy the music, so he felt loved because she supported His love. He was confused that she didn’t feel loved and he did. There was no communication and compromise to be sure they were sending and accepting the love that they so desperately needed from one another. She was dejected and he was defeated feeling he wasn't the one for her.

So can we consider the possibility that we might be missing out on love, not because of it's scarcity or lack of loving people around us, but because we prefer scrambled eggs and won't accept sunny side up, thereby passing up what we want and need because it's not in the preferred form. What's the risk in trying? You scared you might like it? And so what if you don't. You tried. All I'm challenging you to do is to be open enough to try accepting those sunny side up eggs and smile about it.

There's a whole different experience of God and love you can walk in when you're willing to receive other healthy forms of them. And once we learn how to receive it, both from God and from man, we won't ever be love starved again. Take love out of the proverbial skillet and stick it in the boiler, the microwave, and the oven, and see for yourself that it is still love, just not scrambled.

In her song "Learning: outro" on her latest cd, India.Arie sings "The highest expression of love to give without expecting, the highest expression of love is to accept without exception….I have so much to learn." I'm learning to like sunny side up and boiled ain't so bad. In fact, they are pretty good. I'm taking the exclusiveness from scrambled and am even ordering the sunny side up.

I'm learning the art of experimentation. All in the name of accepting and giving love. And for me it begins with food. Are you willing to venture out? Just a thought.