Can't Sleep

So it's 3:01 am and I'm up, and not just your sleepy eyed in and out of sleep up where you can roll over and resume the REM sleep. I'm talking about the kind of up where the sun is at 12 o' clock and you should be awake up. This is the third night in the last three weeks that I have been awakened during sleeping hours. The first two nights I managed to lay here long enough to slip back into sleep. But tonight, I was awakened twice, once a little after midnight then again a little after 1.

My upbringing taught me that being awakened in the night should direct me to prayer and reading the Bible and listening to hear a word. When Samuel was a young boy in the care of the prophet Eli, he heard his name called several times during the night. Each time he ran to the old Eli thinking it was him. When Eli realized what was going on, he instructed Samuel to answer "here I am Lord" the next time he heard his name called. It changed Samuel's life forever.

I have drifted from my first love; it has been subtle and slow veering from what I know to be right for me. This morning is an attempt to get my attention, a confirmation to the message and tug. I have a trust issue that needs some work. A focus that needs realignment. A heart that needs reshaping. A mind that needs renewing.

So here I am Lord. Speak, I'm listening.