Before Daybreak

Last weekend was one for the records. It was perfect in its own mystical, dreamy sort of perfect way. I traveled to Gulf Shores to stand beside my best friend as she began her new life with a new permanent piece of jewelry on her hand. I must be honest. Initially I had doubts about this weekend. It was the weekend before Christmas, one of the most busy weekends in my personal life and I have been juggling a couple responsibilities that are very involved this particular weekend. Add to that a slight hitch in finances, lodging arrangements, and stress from all the internal chatter going on in my heart and head and you can imagine how i was feeling driving the 5 and a half hours down to gulf shores.

As i started my journey, I was nervous and frustrated and as i say "not cool". So I prayed a prayer I think all of us have. The "here i am Lord, its' me" prayer. It was a simple: "God, I can't do nothing with this. So fix it." He first fixed me. Then he fixed it. I love the way music has played a part in my sanity. Thanks to some musically keen friends I have acquired quite a vast collection of music I consider quality, and about an hour into my journey, after listening to the tracks, my spirit calmed, my mind opened, and my countenance had changed.

I drove the speed limit for two reasons: one, there were state troopers everywhere. Seems like every 2 or 3 miles or so one would pass, usually travelling in the opposite direction, but ominously looming, daring me to kick it up to 90 mph. More personally, i drove the speed limit as an attempt to enjoy the journey. It was one of my commitments to myself this year, that i would slow down enough to enjoy getting there, wherever there may be. Its a character trait that my friend Dwight has always encouraged me to develop, one that my mom Gwen has egged me on to embrace, and riding on I-65 S Friday afternoon, one that the Holy Spirit reminded of. So instead of being a speed demon and racing down to Gulf Shores, I took my time, reveled at the beauty of the Alabama countryside, stopped at Priesters Pecans near Fort Deposit and wondered in the huge gift shop for 30 to 45 minutes, stopped in Foley at the outlet mall, and finally made it to the Beach Club resort in time to make it to the meet and greet opening dinner.

The people who surrounded me demonstrated a view of love this weekend that most try to skip over: sacrifice and selflessness. One of the bridesmaids drove two days from Baltimore, MD to be there with us. When she arrived, she was tired, beleaguered, and hungry, but she was there. Each person there made a sacrifice to be there. It was a perfect wedding. Intimate with family and only the closest of friends in attendance on a deserted beach on the Gulf of Mexico.

The morning of the wedding, it was gloomy outside. It was overcast and foggy, so foggy one could hardly see the water from the balcony of our condo on the beach. My friend, however, was energetic, dancing, smiling, excited about the day. (If you know her, you know that overcast rainy days are her favorite- the same is true for her husband- two people who love rainy days- can we say perfect for each other? So this was their kind of day.) I know she was sleepy because we had stayed up until 3 that morning (or rather, she stayed up til 3 that morning; me, an in and out of sleep bobble head) two strand twisting my hair. So to match her energy, I turned on the Brown Sugar soundtrack and proceeded to boost my own energy through dance and silliness.

We headed down to the locker room (it was soooo gorgeous in there) to dress her and meet the photographer. The other bridesmaids joined us for a photo shoot preparing her and then it was time. We walked down the boardwalk, careful of the wooden slats, being sure we didn't pick up any splinters in our bare feet, as we walked to join the awaiting family and friends on the beach. The fog was clearing, but not completely gone. As we walked, you could see small particles floating in the fog and I'm not sure if it was sand or what, but it made it sort of dreamy.

I was concerned that the fog would make for a nuisance, but when she began down the boardwalk, I was glad for the fog. You could see the outline of her form only, the large Afro and her flowers and she looked as if she was a mythical character. A princess fairy perhaps, an angel even, gliding on the clouds to pay us a visit. And she was beautiful. Absolutely stunning.

The ceremony was sacred and loving and moving and even had its humorous moments where i couldn't help but burst into fits of laughter, trying to keep my composure and prevent the best men from losing theirs as well.

After the 8:30 am ceremony, everyone met at the Village Market for brunch and had the entire day to rest, enjoy the resort, and relax. I slept until about 4, went down to the beach and caught the sunset with the bridesmaids. Unfortunately, the water was too frigid for me to talk myself into getting in, but the breeze was perfect and fresh, clear.

I met a fisherman who spent 6 months living here, on the beach, along with his wife. He told me things about the fish and the area and pointed out places i should visit and try out. The girls and i played in the sand, wrote messages in them, took pictures, and enjoyed the feigning sunlight until darkness engulfed us and we were forced to retreat to well lit areas.

That evening, at the cottage the newlyweds were housed in, we shared Italian cuisine of vegetarian lasagna, chicken tetrazzini, meatballs, some of Shawn's famous gumbo, an array of cupcakes: red velvet, lemon, carrot cake, and plenty of water to wash it down. The couple had surprises for each other, birthday gifts for parents, custom maid Christmas gifts for each person us, and it was just wonderful. I'm wearing my Christmas gift now, a set of earrings that were created just for me.

Sunday morning, the girls and i poked about, actually missed our check out time by about an hour, not purposely, just ignorantly. We packed up, caught a Waffle House breakfast (fast and cheap), and parted ways, myself, headed back to the Foley Outlet, one headed to ATL, the other back to Birmingham. I wondered around the mall by myself until i was able to contact my Gwen and purchase a few more gifts.

On the way back, i sped. I didn't forget to enjoy the journey, however and i stopped in Pine Apple (Greenville), AL at a barbecue place called the Smokehouse that one of the wedding guests had told me about. I bought 2 pork sandwiches (sorry Hadiyah) and corn fritters and carried them back to Birmingham to share with a friend. And just like on the way down, I let my music get me back. I stopped to visit a friend and during my visit I was reminded about just how special people can be.

This morning I had questions about timing and if there was a set amount of time that you needed to know someone before you should register their importance to you or your care for them. I had questions about whether I had the heart that could love like my two friends who married each other this weekend. I have questions about how to love, when to love, how to show it, when should i show it. My spirit reminded me that Jesus' commandment was to love others. So I'll keep showing that love. That agape love. I know how to show phileo love- or at least I'm learning how to show it better as each day passes.

I think, however, that I am teetering on the edge of another love. And watching my two friends and the surrounding couples from this weekend gave me glimpses of what that may be in the future. I think love between a man and woman is a choice, but as a friend pointed out its more than just a choice; its complete with feelings, thoughts, and work. It's serious, as they put it, and not to be played with. Its a risk. I talked to Madea about two weeks ago and she opened my eyes to the staying type of love. The love that's strong enough to face the days and the nights. I admit, I have much to learn. I have few answers at this point. When asked questions about it, i can't explain it. I don't have an instruction manual on this. This is a new road i travel. But I have vowed to myself that will enjoy the journey, wherever it may take me.

All in all, I'm so blessed to have been a part of the exchange this weekend. I walk away full of questions, full of wisdom, full of examples, and full of gratitude of how God loves us and how we ought to love one another.

And to the bride and the groom, may you enjoy your journey together.

Unfortunately, I drifted off to sleep twice on my way home, and it scared the snot outta me when i caught myself. The angels had me. I made it safely and was greeted by two loves, my mom and my sister, who embraced my sleepy but full self and sent me off to bed with hugs and kisses.

If I don't see you, talk with you, may you and your family have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy New Year!